Bland On Bland – Wrong

Photo By Jools Thatcher
Photo By Jools Thatcher

The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Wrong“.

Coventry UK (still): Afternoon Jon. This week I left the cosy confines of  the caravan in Coventry, headed east over to Stanford in Lincolnshire and bought an old bomb.

I naively thought that the local highway patrol might take a lenient approach to any minor indiscretions a tourist  committed while trying to navigate their way through  the mayhem that is British roads.

This assumption I am sad to say, proved to be very, very, wrong

To play this poem directly in your browser – just click the “play” button below:

Also have a listen to my new EP “Once We Were Kings Of The World


I explained it to the constable
Thought I had him sold
Wrong way down a one way street?
Just doing what I’m told

I conveyed the circumstances
He believed me more or less
There’s no way it was my fault
Blame the bloody GPS

The Sat Nav should know better
It cost two hundred quid
It ordered me to turn right
That’s exactly what I did

Speeding? Was he really?
With the emphasis on he
I left the cruise control in charge
You can’t pin that on me

We build machines to do our work
That’s the whole attraction
Surely when they screw things up
They’re liable for our actions

I steer and brake and overtake
Ensure the blinker’s blinking
Responsibility ends there
The sat Nav does the thinking

It didn’t save me in the end
He wrote me out a ticket
Don’t think he liked Australians
Mumbled something ’bout the cricket

“Arrogant” he called them
He found their manners “wanting”
“Why take it out on me?” I begged
“Fine bloody Ricky Ponting”

Ricky if you’re listening
I wish you all the best of luck
I’d love the sixty pounds mate
As if you give a golden duck

Guess I just have to accept
What you’ve known all along
The umpire’s always right
Even when the bastard’s wrong

© Copyright 2011 Ian Bland

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