Bland On Bland – Vanity

RRRBBQDay2014_046The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Vanity“.


Good afternoon Jon, and greetings, once again, from Coventry.

End of a big week, I attended my first ever Test Match at Edgbaston on Thursday, England versus Pakistan, the most entertaining and attacking moment occurred during the lunch break when they rolled the pitch.

For some reason, the locals have been taking great delight in telling me how crap the Australian Cricket Team is at the moment, as if I give a stuff.

I remind them, they sent Australia their convicts and we sent them Fosters – we got by far the better deal.

Anyway, to the theme at hand, Vanity.

One of my favourite quotes comes from 19th century French author George Sand. She noted “Vanity is the quicksand of reason”

I think that quote should be framed and hung on the wall of the Senate in Canberra.

Perhaps, even the wall of Studio One at RRR.
Did I say that? That’s vanity for you


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Bland On Bland – Homesick

RRRBBQDay2014_046The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Homesick“.

Good afternoon Jon and greetings, once again from Coventry.
I’m still in recovery mode from The Warwick Folk Festival, which, as always featured four days of great music, including some incredible impromptu performances in the beer and food tents, so probably not the best week to ask me if I’m homesick.

Besides, thanks to the internet I feel as though I haven’t left, with particular reference to Stan Grant’s speech at The University of New South Wales on Friday – a very powerful, emotive and unfortunately necessary response to the detention centre abuse scandal in the Northern Territory.

But homesick, absolutely not – although I am missing Sundays at RRR and Ed’s smiling face – and Dan, and Dr Pump, Jane, Nathan, Pete, The Lomond, and God, I’m going to miss Radiothon again – and even you Jon, with your purple suits and rude, dismissive comments.
But homesick – absolutely not.

 


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Bland On Bland – Winter

RRRBBQDay2014_046The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Winter“.

Good afternoon Jon, and this week welcome to Warwick, the scene of this years Warwick Folk Festival – and every year for that matter.

So far there have been some great acts including The Unthanks, Show of Hands, Flossie Malavialle, Anna Ryder and later this evening on the main stage Le Vent Du Nord – The North Wind, a sensational group from Canada who would even impress a folk music skeptic like yourself Jon.

Winter – I’ve managed to avoid it so far this year.

Not an easy task to relate to winter in the middle of summer, albeit what the English refer to as summer, so to put me in the mood I’ve stuck my feet are in a bucket of ice blocks and my head in the refrigerator with pen and paper on top of the salad crisper – what’s this? Mango and lemon curd yoghurt, Potato and dry cured Chorizo tortilla – 2 cans of Old Speckled Hen?

To quote those immortal words, “I may be gone some time”


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Bland On Bland – Rolling

RRRBBQDay2014_046The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Rolling“.

Good afternoon Jon and once again, greetings from Coventry.
Miserable weather in the Midlands at the moment, which I know will give you perverse pleasure.

Summer it may be, but you can’t step outside the door without a fleece and waterproof.

I did two gigs this week with the Harrington Brothers, Horse and Wes, of Large Number Twelves fame and they went over a treat.

I think now England is leaving the EU the poms are looking for friends.

While traveling, I’ve been writing down the stories of some of the people I’ve met on the way, and today the chronicles of a bloke I met in the mountains in the far north of Vietnam, whose name I can no longer recall.

I’m going to relate his story, in the first person, minus the American accent. as it was told to me over a very cold beer.


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Bland On Bland – Wearing Things Well

RRRBBQDay2014_046The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Wearing Things Well“.

Good afternoon Jon and greetings, once again from Coventry.

Well the English summer is in full swing and we’re in the middle of a heat wave – it even broke through the 20 degree mark yesterday – they’re dropping like flies.

To celebrate the season I decided I needed a new outfit and given clothes shopping is not my favourite pastime, I enlisted the help of one of the doyens of the Coventry music scene, Elaine Tierney, always brutally honest, to give her opinion on my fashion choices.


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Bland On Bland – Animal Enclosures

RRRBBQDay2014_046The theme for this week’s JVG Radio Method poem is “Animal Enclosures“.

Good afternoon Jon, and after an absence of nearly two years, welcome to Coventry.

I’ve seen quite a number and variety of animal enclosures in my travels, from cages on the backs of motorcycles in Vietnam, donkey pens in Italy, to the more controversial Spanish bullrings which are understandably under siege.

In fact, to ensure I’m completely thematically correct today, I’m coming to you from a horse stable in Coorley Moor on the outskirts of Cov, so excuse any background noises.

Last week, as you are no doubt aware, after a particularly vile and venomous campaign Britain voted to exit the EU and as the initial euphoria or disappointment wears off, carnage is sweeping the political landscape and many people are only now pondering exactly what the ramifications and new realities will be.

One of the more contentious and emotive issues of the campaign centered on immigration and I’m pretty sure there is one group of people and one person in particular who might struggle to gain entry into Britain in the future, even in a poem.


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